Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Old crockery to smash

Making mood boards is keeping me sane at the moment, the job is still hard to stomach. Monday was my first day back after two weeks training and the pressure combined with pushy (oblivious to human feeling) boss brought me to tears. I didn't want to cry, what a baby! How easily I revert to childish behavior in difficult situations. Can't think what's wrong with me, I get so easily overwhelmed these days. Even the frustration of rage makes me cry. Must find some old crockery to smash. The evil thought that it will be even worse for me to have to come back to this job after the utter joy of spending our honeymoon in New York probably isn't helping.

How long can I really continue with this horror? I feel an awkward conversation on the horizon. I get through my hours but in my heart I knew the day I started that this was not the place for me. Maybe even at the interview, was that the faint ringing of an alarm bell I heard in the back of my head? When they rang to offer me the job did my instinct say no even though the word YES slipped out of my mouth? I was so anxious to leave behind my old job that I just jumped from the frying pan straight into the fire and have now been enveloped in the flames. At least I have the full support of my future husband to jump ship! Hopefully the next jump will be into a placid ocean not a furnace of hideousness! Moaning aside I can see quite a comical side to it all so no need to put me on suicide watch just yet! I shouldn't complain I'm so happy in all other aspects of my life. Happy and excited about being a wife. Lucky to have fabulous family and friends.

5 comments:

oldflowers4me said...

hello dear 1-oh dont give up-shoulders out, head strait- and a good smile will help- i hope all goes well for you-

dean said...

that place stinks x but don't let it get you down, you are better than that pushy ol sales freak ! x

Maria said...

I completely know how you feel!!! jobs are not the be al and end all though - or however the saying goes!!! good luck x

diana @ please sir said...

I just found your blog and was moved by this post. I completely understand your situation. I'm in cubicle hell, and the creative blog world seems to be my only escape right now. What keeps me going is knowing "there has got to be something more." I know in my heart I am destined for more than this job can offer. Stay positive and creative.

Mirka said...

I´m so sorry to hear you still have an awful feeling about the job. If you can look for something else, maybe that is a solution. I did the same too, when I was in this kind of situation. You don´t have to spoil your life because of an awful job, you deserve better. : )